*In case you haven’t figured it out yet, this is indeed out April Fools post. Hope if gave you some laughs! HAPPY APRIL, EVERYONE!
In an amazing development, we can reveal that Thorin & Company will have a new member when The Hobbit returns to movie screens in December – and that it will be a FEMALE dwarf!
We’ve heard rumors of this for a few months, but have been unable to confirm the story until this morning and we couldn’t wait to tell you. According to her agent the actress has already been cast and will be travelling to New Zealand this week to begin green screen work so that she can be composited into existing footage, before joining the rest of the cast for pick up shooting in June.
Details are sketchy at this stage, including the name of the lucky actress, but a short conversation with an unnamed executive at the actresses agency, Mendacity Media, has provided some insight into the thinking behind the decision to make such a big departure from Tolkien’s story.
“As we understand it,” explained the unnamed executive, “Warners have taken on board comments made online by fans about the first Hobbit movie. Comments were repeated over and over that there wasn’t sufficient female interest or presence in the film and that there wasn’t enough ‘Hot dwarves getting all romancey and stuff’. Well let me tell you, Warners has listened and is totally shipping your ships.”
“In order to meet the demands of fans, this new female dwarf character has been created” continued the executive, “They’ll be an all-action dwarf who’ll be a big improvement over weapon wielding women from The Lord of the Rings, no long speeches before sword swinging. They’ll be joining the company right from the outset of the movie. The writers, in their usual efforts to ensure things remain as authentic as possible, have written her in by having her jump out of a hole in the ground right in front of the company.”
We were particularly intrigued to also discover that this exciting new character will also be a love interest for one of the dwarves! Our contact was a little evasive about exactly which of the dwarf boys would catch the eye of the still unnamed character, but we were able to get out of them that the love interest story line would result in lots of cuddles – and which dwarf is cuddlier than Bombur?
These Hobbit movies don’t seem to be done with new twists and changes and this is just the latest in a long line of changes since the movie was first announced. Reaction to all previous announcements has been mixed, but we want to know what you think of this new discovery in the comments below!
How do you feel about this new female dwarf character? Who should play her? What should she be named? Which dwarf should she get the hots for? Let us know!
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